They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
