i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
