we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
