All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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