I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
