We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
