I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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