Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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