i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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