i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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