Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
