bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
