Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
