He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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