it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
