her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
