You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
