there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
