nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
