I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she looked like the before picture.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Acid is not a monday night drug
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
