Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I understand Curling. That high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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