if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
its not stalking. its research.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
