Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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