I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
