He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You are a genius and a whore.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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