All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
