where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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