I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
