Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
