U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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