I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
