Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
