I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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