spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
