She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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