my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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