Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And then my night got REAL pukey
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
