Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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