Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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