we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
