and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
