I murdered the dance floor call the cops
time to smoke my breakfast
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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