I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
accomplished twins. life is a go
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
