I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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