At least make sure they are 18
Why
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
