remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
