God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize