you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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