It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
