she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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