i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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