im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have already put on my inside pants.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
