Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
