my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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