talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
