I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
