I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His hands were made for my vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
