My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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